Citing Social Injustice, Students Demand Starbucks Location on Campus

Photo Source: https://www.accordingtoblaire.com

ELON, NC—“Let’s just Doordash it here,” is what you will hear at nine in the morning throughout every dorm hall. Coffee has never been taboo on the Elon campus. If you are not carrying a neon Hydro Flask filled to the brim with milk and a dash of coffee, you are doing it wrong. As of January 17th, a petition was formed requesting the school to replace the infamous Clohan dining hall with a two-story Starbucks coffee shop, which will include an online order bar on the first floor with a “study lounge”. There will also be a state of the art “lightroom”, where customers can take selfies with their friends in a 24/7 golden hour room. This will allow students to achieve their highest quality pictures while appreciating their favorite drinks. While there have been many attempts to get the attention of the school board none have been successful. After years of being suppressed the underclassmen have had enough.

It is time for a change.

Female students are tired of getting in their below freezing white Jeeps and driving an entire ten minutes to wait in a drive-thru line so that they can acquire their “delicious” concoctions. Many believe that this ritual requires too much energy and by the time they are back on campus, their daily schedule is ruined.

This disservice to the prestigious students of Elon must be brought to the public's attention. When standing outside of Carolina, the all-female dormitory, you will be greeted in the morning by a herd of female students rushing out of the door in their oversized sweatpants and shirts. When the A.S.S. investigator asked where one of the girls was heading, he received the classic eye roll followed by the notorious up-down, she proceeded to say, “Um, I’m going to Starbee’s before class.” When asked “Why?” she followed with “Well, all the local coffee shops are gross, and they never understand my order. Like, is it too much to ask for a venti iced caramel macchiato with an extra shot and a pump of vanilla almond milk double cupped?” (Virginia W. freshman). Before our interview could continue, she disappeared like a wild animal that was finally released after years of captivity.

Resident Irazu barista Patrick J. decided to speak on the topic. He had an immediate answer. “It's like the moment they order they forget what they wanted, and they never give me a real answer about what size they want. Venti is twenty, Grande means large, and tall also means large. What size do they even want?”

Students on social media also had something to say about this social injustice.

Luckily, another freshman girl, Jessica K., on Instagram was willing to speak on the matter. She argued that she ends up spending all of her money on gas when it could go towards her Juul pods and Lemonade Truly's for the weekend. “If we just invested in an on-campus Starbucks these economic problems would go away.” When asked how one would go about solving this problem she responded with, “I think we should form a petition and post it on Elon Barstool to raise awareness about this situation, why shouldn’t we have a Starbucks on campus?”