Sorority Women Shocked 'Formal Court Order' Not a Fun Themed Party

Dense (left) and Dull (right) pose for Instagram before the party. (Photo credit: www.pixabay.com)

ELON, NC—Friday night, two members of Elon University’s chapter of the Sigma Theta Delta (STD) sorority found out the hard way that missing a court date has consequences.

About a month ago, sorority sisters Jessica Dull and Brittney Dense took a break between darties and filmed a TikTok on a stranger’s lawn. Said resident, Ivan Ugon, was unimpressed by their dancing skills on her property and disagreed that the STD sisters were “savages, classy, bougie, or ratchet.” Elon Police showed up not long after and charged the women with disorderly conduct and trespassing.

When Dull and Dense were served the notices of their hearing, they misinterpreted their formal court orders as invitations to a court-themed sorority affair.

On the day of the event, Dull and Dense showed up at the STD Loy house, dates in tow, fashionably late, and ready to party. They were dressed as a sexy judge and sexy lawyer respectively, with Brad Brown and Chad Johnson from Sigma Mu Delta (SMD) hanging off their arms costumed as a convict and bailiff. Their night took a sharp turn, however, when they appeared to be the only people who received notice of this courtroom-themed party.

“Why would they call it a formal if it’s not a party?” Dull asked. She waved the notice as though it proved her point. Her blonde friend nodded enthusiastically, agreeing.

“And, if it’s not a date party, then why did the invite mention a court date?” Dense added with an eye roll.

Not only had they pregamed for nothing, but they now realized that they had missed their hearings, and to make matters worse, they were probably going to get in trouble with STD standards. Later, a Google search for “wtf happens if i missed court????” revealed that they now most likely have warrants out for their arrest, much to the shock of Dense who is in fact pre-law.

“No wait,” Dense said confidently, “I swear I learned in class that we get two more strikes before we’re out.”

Despite this assertion, A.S.S. was able to confirm the warrants with Joanna “Jo” Mama, the judge they stood up. Upon hearing about the mix-up, Judge Mama groaned and promptly resigned.

Dull responded: “I am so reporting this to nationals.”